frustration and inspiration

Yes, I know, it's been a long time since I've written here. And no, the lack of posts is not an indication that angels&aimee is dead. I've been away, trying to take care of myself and my future, so I've had precious few moments for baseball, most of which I spent watching games and staying aware of the going-ons around the league. So there've been no commentary here, just my in-game thoughts on twitter. I figured that once I had figured out my things, then I could enjoy the Angels more and angels&aimee would take off once again. Well, all of those things are a work in progress.

So why am I here, after three weeks of silence?

Simple. I'm frustrated.

I would count myself among the patient and even-kneeled in the Halo fanbase. But at this point, even I'm angry. During my absence, the Halos have been inconsistant and are now floundering. But it's been more than the 6-game losing streak. It is how this team is playing - or not playing.

True Grinch wrote a post last week about the uninspiring play of late. One passage stood out to me:

We keep waiting for this team to start clicking on all cylinders and it just hasn't happened yet. I don't know about you, but I'm getting a little restless; just a tad bit mind you.

I keep waiting too. I'm waiting for them to turn the corner. After the disappointing first week, the Halos seemed to be heading in the right direction at the end of the second week and start of the third. But all that good mojo evaporated and the inconsistancy once again set in. Every encouraging sign seems to be followed by a discouraging breakdown. There seems to be a new culprit (or multiple culprits) everyday. It's past the time where we can say "Oh, it's early." The Angels need to show some signs of life.

Lately, they've looked lost and tentative. The Halos need to play with a purpose. They need someone to step up, and inject some fire and steely determination. I get that (mostly) everyone is scuffling. Bad breaks and slumps happen. But I've come to expect better from my Angels. I miss that team last year that played with such measured passion and determination that they inspired me. Inspired me to be a better fan, to be here at angels&aimee. That team fought through the bad times with a determined do-what-it-takes-to-win attitude. They would grit it out and frankly, they exuded a believe in themselves.

Today, they faced John Lackey and the Red Sox. I didn't care so much for the hype, I just wanted to see a shift in the Halos' attitude. I wanted to see them "show some nuts" and gut out good at-bats, good pitches, clean defense. After a gutsy performance from Ervin last night, I wanted to see if Pineiro could follow the trend and if the bullpen can find a way to turn the page. In predictable fashion, encouraging signs from the rotation were coupled with silent bats and shaky relief.

So I am here because I'm disappointed, frustrated. This Angels team is better than this.

Kaz is going tomorrow - which gives me something to look forward to. He hasn't quite lived up to my lofty preseason expectations, but I haven't given up on him. His past outings have been encouraging. I remember that first start in NY where he lamented about the disappearance of his slider and he sat on the bench with this utterly lost expression on his face. Since then he's had more trust in his mechanics and his fastball. I'll say it again, he has what it takes, but he needs to believe that he has what it takes. That's where it all needs to start - to play with conviction.

The same can be said for the team as a whole. And I'm not ready to give up on them either.